Ten Things To Do Instead of Self Harming
There are many reasons people feel like they need to turn to hurting themselves including experiencing numbness, past trauma that feels inescapable, emotions that feel overwhelming, and feeling confused or uncertain about the world.
While The Orchard does not provide crisis support, please see the resources page for hotlines, warm lines, and text support for national crisis support, below are ten replacement actions to engage in when you feel the pull to self-harm.
Drawing on your skin with a skin safe marker (this means not permanent markets, but washable or cosmetic markers). Let yourself draw on the places you would think about harming yourself or somewhere visible where you can be reminded on your choice to stay safe.
Scream into a pillow or punch a pillow.
Put ice on your skin (you can do this on the back of your neck, your hands, arms, face, or on your chest)
Eat something sour or spicy (nothing too far out of your spice range, but something to get your senses activated and your body feeling sensations)
Play Tetris (this game specifically has been studied to be helpful with trauma)
Go on a color walk - pick one color and walk until you spot X amount of things in that color (up the number for more common colors outside like brown to give yourself a nice length of walk)
Put liquid glue on your hands and peel it off (sometimes you may feel like you want to crawl out of your skin, and this may allow you to statisfy that urge by shedding a skin)
Make yourself a playlist to dance it out (I can picture an eye rolling escaping here, but as the TikTok’s say, a shimmy a day keeps the sad away [which is actually scientifically proven])
Destroy something at home such as egg cartons, bubble wrap, sticks, cardboard boxes.
Create an art project - take a self portrait or draw a self portrait for a month (or however long) on the days you felt like self-harming and write something in connection with it. What happened that day? What was the weather like? What clothes do you have on? Who did you talk to today? Write yourself an entry about what disrupted you from going through with hurting yourself. You’ll have evidence that you can make the choice again, to not harm yourself, because you’ve done it before. And you may even find some patterns.
No matter what the reason is you’re feeling drawn to hurting yourself, there are alternatives in the immediate to get a similar release while keeping yourself safe.
Therapy can support you through learning what activates you, how to notice sensations and feelings in your body, identify who can be there to connect with you, what replacement behaviors work best for you, process through the stories you may be telling yourself about control, your self-worth, and how to feel through intense feelings.
Please reach out to crisis lines if you are reading this and need immediate help!
Dr. S