Grieving is incredibly human of you, and there is NO requirement for grief related to having met someone or not.

Of course you’re not the same since the start of a pandemic.

It is so human of you, since the COVID-19 pandemic started, to have more to grieve, to feel resentment or frustration, to be confused and uncertain, to have new sensory desires (less noise, more soft textures, desire to eat food from the earth, want to be in smaller groups), to understate a new level of being informed about public health.